


Melt You Down (Like a New Disease)

by sinaddict



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-18
Updated: 2004-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-08 08:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinaddict/pseuds/sinaddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, there was a girl who lost everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melt You Down (Like a New Disease)

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Drinking the Kool-Aid." Merry Christmas [empty_marrow](http://empty_marrow.livejournal.com/) from your Secret Santa! Hope you enjoy! (P.S. I can't tell you how glad I was I got you for this one, Robin! :)

**one // submerged and i've surfaced with the blame**

Once upon a time, Veronica had thought she'd lose her virginity to Duncan, and it would happen like it did in the movies with soft lighting and an artful tangle of limbs and they'd whisper 'I love you's all night long.

She doesn't remember how she lost her virginity. She doesn't want to remember this, either.

"I really hate you, you know," Veronica manages to choke out between gasps and sighs and whimpers, because even though she hates him, his hand under her skirt and his mouth on her neck felt so god damn good she couldn't think straight.

She goes to him when she doesn't want to think straight anymore.

Logan lifts his other hand to her face and his mouth takes hers again until she's melting against him, and in her head she's begging _pleasegodthereplease_ but she'll never let herself beg him out loud for anything, even this. When he draws away slightly from her and his fingers hit just the right place, he breathes heavily against her lips, "Stop talking."

She wants to hit him. Instead, she rakes her nails down his forearms as she comes.

She knows it doesn't cut him as deep as he cuts her.

~

**two // am i weak if i leave it as it stands?**

Once upon a time, Logan had called her Ronnie to see her smile. He was the only one who'd ever called her Ronnie; it was his special nickname for her and the way she smiled at him when he said it was more special than the smile she used to give Duncan.

Now he calls her Ronnie because it pisses her off like nothing else.

They fool around in closets, in cars, in dark, small spaces that almost suffocate them with their hatred and lust, and with his hand between her thighs and her bottom lip swollen where she was biting it to keep from crying out with pleasure, they still have to insult each other.

He keeps her on edge just so he can taunt her. "Say it, Ronnie."

She glares at him, eyes flashing with anger and desire. "No."

"Say it, or I won't let you finish," he smirks as she digs her nails into his shoulders in an attempt to distract him, but they both know he's going to win this round. She came to him this time. And she's already too far gone to walk away just to prove a point. He leans down, tasting that spot at the hollow of her neck that always makes her moan, and tells her impatiently, "Just say it."

"I hate you so much," she groans, her head falling back against the wall hard enough to make a noise, and he knows that he's going to win because she's rocking her hips into his hand and clutching his shoulders like he's the last the thing on earth she can hang on to. She shudders and twists against him under his touch, and finally says it, those four words that get him hotter than anything he's ever known.

"I want you, Logan."

~

**three // sometimes you breathe all over my skin**

Once upon a time, she could look at herself in the mirror without wondering how the hell she ended up this person.

She's not sure when it progressed beyond _safe_, if being with Logan could ever be called safe, but she's lying underneath him and her shirt's bunched up somewhere beneath her and her skirt's somewhere around her hips, and they're as close to fucking as they can get without technically finishing it.

And somewhere along the way, it stopped mattering who gave in and called first.

She tells herself she still hates him. He's still a psychotic jackass.

It's just harder when he's almost being nice to her.

They're lying together on his bed, silently, because lately they don't takes shots at each other after, and Logan's arm is around her as he leans into her, his lips pressed lightly against her neck. And he tells her softly, "Thanks for coming."

"You did all the work."

He laughs, a short, surprised sound, and she realizes that wasn't what he meant. He'd called her this time, and even though it was close to midnight and her dad thought she was safely in her room, she never thought about _not_ going when Logan called her. "And I didn't even get a thank you," she can hear the grin in his voice, and his tone isn't sarcastic or taunting like it used to be. "Come on, Ronnie, you can do it. Say, 'thank you, Logan'."

She snorts, and actually _giggles_ like the Old Veronica would as he tickles her, and suddenly they're both laughing as he's back on top of her, pinning her down as he tickles her and demands a thank you, and the fact that she's almost naked and he's not wearing much more doesn't seem to matter.

Which is almost scarier than the fact she actually caves and tells him thank you.

~

**four // and you always end up much closer than close**

Once upon a time, Logan didn't need her to get through the night like a junkie needed a fix.

He wonders when he became addicted to Veronica Mars.

Probably sometime between the first time he heard her say, "God _Logan_," and the first time she made him groan, "Veronica," without saying it out of annoyance with her.

She came to him this time, and even he can tell that she's really upset about something, but even if he is addicted to her, he doesn't know what to do with her when she's like this. If it were the old Veronica, he'd have hugged her to him and told her that everything was going to be okay, because the old Veronica was touchy-feely no matter what mood she was in and complacent enough to think that reassurance from him or Duncan _could_ make everything better.

This Veronica, on the other hand, would probably hit him if he tried to offer her any comfort. The closest she'll take from him now is distraction.

So he does his best to give her that.

~

**five // you're taking me down... that's where i give in**

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lost everything. Her best friend, her house, her mom, all her other friends, and eventually, herself. Veronica likes to think that losing herself was a good thing -- she's not that old Veronica who couldn't take care of herself anymore. She's stronger than that, tougher than that.

Then she ends up in Logan's bed, gasping his name while his hands are _everywhere_, and she thinks maybe she's not all that strong and tough after all.

She wants to justify this to herself, wants to think the only reason that she's letting Logan unbutton her jeans is that she's upset that her whole life has been a lie and Jake-fucking-Kane may be her father. But she's lying, because when her pants are on the floor next to them and Logan's sucking on her bottom lip as his body grinds against hers, she's not thinking about Jake Kane.

It's sometime between Logan's mouth on her breast and her hands unzipping his pants that she stops caring about justification. Or she stops being able to think about it, which is really the same thing in the end.

She thinks if he'd asked, she might have let him fuck her this time.

But he didn't ask. For that matter, he didn't let her return the favor at all, and when she finally breathed that it was enough, that she couldn't take any more, he put his arms around her and held her.

And it almost makes her feel better than the almost-sex does.

They're both quiet for a long time, and Logan's lightly brushing his fingers up and down her skin, pressing his lips to her forehead absently every once in a while, and it's almost like that moment on the beach during homecoming where the four of them were curled up together watching the waves and just being with each other. That silent kind of comfort she hadn't felt since Lilly died and she lost everything she'd known.

Logan's voice is soft, almost concerned, as he asks her, "Are you okay?"

And the fact that he sounds so serious and sincere and he really wants to know if she's okay almost makes her want to cry, but she's stronger than that, tougher than that. So she tells him, "I'm fine," in a tone of voice that clearly says she's not.

But he lets it go at that.

He's still Logan and she's still Veronica, and once upon a time they were friends.

But they're not anymore.


End file.
